Hastings & St. Leonards Rowing Club

More Strange going ons at the South Coast Championships Swanage!

Some crews were able to arrange special treatment for their crews. In this case medical attention was extremely well organised for the Veteran members of the Southampton Rowing Club. Maybe we should look into taking along a couple of nurses?

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Hastings was lucky to have the Lymington Rowing Club next to them on the beach. The Rubenesque no 3 of their Ladies crew, pictured below, informed us when borrowing a seat that their motto was:

"Lymington Ladies like it Rough!".

We never ascertained if the weekend was to their liking!.

Two great mysteries of the 21st century puzzled me over the weekend.

The 1st is how do salmon find their way over thousands of miles of featureless seas and eventually after a gap of years navigate to the same spot up the same river. Somewhere in the long course of evolution this ability of salmons to navigate has been lost on our very own Hastings Rowing Club member, Mr Bob Salmon. Whereas most of our members travelling from Hastings to Swanage only had to decide whether to catch the Poole ferry or to travel round via Corfe Castle. A 3rd route found by Mr Salmon was to travel to Bridport at which stage he decided to take Carol's advice and purchase a modern invention called a Map! And so after a further hour our intrepid member was re-united with the Club.

The other mystery?

Why isn't there a Crematorium in Sunnydale ? It would save an awful lot of problems.

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Saturday night back at the B & B I found myself having a curious dream that I was back in a rain forest in West Africa. To my surprise I could hear the highly distinctive mating duet of a pair of Pearl-Spotted Owlets.!

Though small they have a complex range of loud calls described in the Birds of West Africa as a succession of sharp far-carrying piped whistles that rise in a crescendo culminating in a series of longer falling notes tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu; twee- twee- twee.!

Jumping out of the bunk bed, not to be advised as I cracked my head on the top bunk, I realised that it was in fact the synchronised snoring being emitted from my bedroom companions, Mess's Steve Barnard and Jamie Hayden.

Mr Hayden was also surprised next morning at breakfast when our Swanage B & B landlady explained about the local custom of not cooking breakfast on Sundays as it is the only day she gets off without cooking!

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By the far the most peculiar of the week ends events was what happened to Mr Simon Veness's legs. Pictured below.
There are differing versions.
The 1st is that he got more than he paid for when visiting Swanage's very own Miss Whiplash( Tue to Saturdays; appointments not always necessary. Sundays emergencies only) who intoxicated by his good looks or breath overdid the treatment.

The second which was verified by reliable though drunk rowers seemed to indicate that he suddenly took off his clothes and ran through a patch of brambles shouting

"The badgers are after me"

When asked to explain it himself he said "My wheelbarrow was broken" and seemed to think this was all that was necessary. Several agencies are involved though none can come up with an explanation of this. However some ancient locals seemed to think this was all perfectly normal as it was September.

The leg is pictured opposite. Ravenous weaver fish have been ruled out by a local marine expert.

The missed picture of the week end was of the 2 rather nice ladies in the pub having a pleasant drink to whom Mr Veness rushed up to as we entered the establishment, sat down and said. "Would you like to see my cox?". Naturally somewhat startled they didn't reply immediately so he continued by explaining. "Its like a penis but only smaller." The rowers all left the pub soon afterwards.

and finally the steam enthusiasts at Swanage found a new recruit in Mr Steve Barnard who is beginning to think this is more to his liking than all the excessive drinking and debauchery of a rowing weekend. He is seen here checking if the train goes to Hastings. The reason became clear as I decided rather than to rush back I would take a leisurely drive back following Mr Jamie Hayden towing the boats. I almost lost him on the A27 as I was having difficulty going above 80 mph with all the traffic. However we made the journey safely back in under 3 1/2 hours which all concluded a most enjoyable weekend.

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